Happy Halloween!

Engineers 2010.





Still no computer cord so no new photos to post. Sometimes photos from the archives are more fun anyway but wait until you see Maeve dressed up as a pups! You will die.

I love having my mom here for Halloween. She has come for nearly every Halloween since the boys were born and now we can throw Maeve's birthday into the celebration mix.

We've had a fun weekend with my mom: a trip to the countryside to see the state arboretum of Virginia, Mellow Mushroom in DC, Longwood Gardens, and we had a cozy fire to compliment the crazy SNOW we had on Saturday!



Hah! Remember how big and bulky their hair used to be? I miss those wild locks.

Nearly a Year of Maeve

Maeve only 3 days old!


Maeve on the day she left the hospital. She never looked like a newborn to me...instead she had the bright eyed demeanor of a much older baby.


With grandma a few days after her homecoming.


Three weeks old at the Christmas tree farm. Really--this photo captures the tenderness of motherhood and the resilience of children. Everyone wants a piece of me, and while they would prefer the WHOLE thing--those little ones are grateful for whatever scrap or finger they can grab. Bless them.


Maeve at four weeks!

I can't look at these photos and not cry. Seeing my newborn Maeve with my mom and then her brothers makes me shiver with gratitude for those children. Maeve came to me with such perfection--those bright eyes have given me sustained pleasure from the moment I first saw them. Happiness and contentment are integral parts of Maeve's personality and they have been manifest from the moment of her birth. Watching these and other endearing aspects of her personality develop has been extremely rewarding. Maeve is healthy, happy, turbo, fun, quick to learn, and generous with affection.

I admit that as Maeve's first birthday approaches I feel a sense of sadness mingled with all the celebration. Perhaps I am mourning the loss of her infancy along with Asher and Soren's too. Those difficult, painful, demanding, and yet sacred times of having a newborn are gone. The finality of it feels heavy on my heart and I wonder why I can't just be happy and move on. Is a mother ever prepared for the gentle brutality that the growth of her children causes? I couldn't be happier with Maeve at this age with her delightful, winsome presence in our lives. Part of my conflict is knowing that this growing up business does happen rapidly because her brothers are proof. The little guys who used to say 'nah, nah' as a general term for the exchange of goods are now negotiating the rules for everything. It is bittersweet but I am grateful for all these wild emotions I experience because they make me feel very alive.

Only six days to Maeve's birthday!

Waiting for a New Cord (or card if you have an especially strong Utah accent*)

We decorated for Halloween promptly on October 1st. The bat chandelier has been a favorite of Maeve. She loves to yank on those pom poms!



The cord to our computer gave up its ghost, which means all of the photos I would use to accompany new posts are not accessible. Sigh. I could go to the apple store and get a new one but the thought of hauling three kids to the mall after work and so close to bedtime makes me want to kill myself.

One of the many challenges of having Jamie out of the country is the difficulty of doing even a minor task--like getting a gallon of milk--suddenly NOT minor when it involves herding three kids. One could call it 'fun.'

In the meantime, Jamie comes home from tomorrow and his flight arrives at nearly the same time as my moms! That IS fun.

* When Jamie first moved to Provo for BYU he worked at ZCMI. A woman came into the store and wanted to look at vacuum cleaners. Jamie showed her a model and she repeatedly asked, "Where's the card?" Jamie was completely confused until he realized she was saying CORD with a very strong accent. I LOVE this story.

One Year Ago

To be honest, I miss having a baby in my belly because it is one of the most extraordinary experiences of a lifetime. I do not miss, however, my pregnant nose.


A year ago this time I thought my baby babe was going to make her arrival at any moment! Surely I would not have to endure 15 more days of pregnancy. Hard to imagine that my two-week late baby girl is only one week shy of her first birthday. What a year! We drove past the hospital a few weeks ago and I saw my old room. Memories of lying in that room looking out the window at the gorgeous fall colors while dressing my sweet baby Maeve to take her home took my breath away. I look back at that time and the photos above with great tenderness. I never could have imagined how difficult it would be in the beginning to manage the needs of three children but I also had no capacity for how in love I would be with baby Maeve. She has shown me joy and pleasure beyond measure. My only wish is that I could be a source for as much love and happiness for my children and husband. It's a lofty wish.

Three Years Ago

Jamie looks so young and the boys were such babies! I love this.

A Date and A Day in the Life...

Jamie and I went on a date to Old Town a few weeks ago. Normally we go to Georgetown on our Columbus day date but we stayed close to home. We strolled the bricked streets and took our time enjoying the subtle details that make Old Town special EVERY time we go. It's a romantic place and one that easily ignites our imagination as we imagine living in one of its storied homes. I enjoyed that time with my hubs because I knew he would be leaving me soon for the sights and sounds of La Paz! and I selfishly wanted to savor him all to myself. The date was over all too quickly but I'm grateful for that quiet time to foster our collective imagination.










On the kid front---I thought it would be rewarding to show a snapshot of a regular old day on Quaker Hill. Asher snuggled under a blanket in his old infant car seat and told me he was a baby cat. Soren tended to said baby cat and I heard occasional meows and shot outs to mommy cat (read: me). Did you know I often serve as both mommy cat and dinosaur mommy? Split right down the middle to please my two masters.

Soren demonstrated his silly side, which I love. He easily retreats into his serious self so I rejoice when he lets loose and flails his arms and flashes a silly face and shows me his best toddler swagger.

Maeve, well, she is generally a busy bee as she roams around the house playing, squatting, and finding little treasures to either put in her mouth or put in whatever containers she carries. She adores books and I adore her for so sitting down to enjoy books at such a tender age.

It's really the 'mundane' moments that I sometimes appreciate the most about recording my life, especially my life with Jamie and the kids. I never want to forget the spontaneous bursts of happy energy that cause Soren to dance or the perfect hiding space for a baby cat to rest. I hope these images will help me recall these memories when they start to fade.

Missing: Jamie

I don't know where to begin. I miss my sweet hubs. He's in La Paz, Bolivia. It's one of his shorter trips and he hasn't traveled in over a year-- but man I miss him. I asked Jamie if one in four kids looked stunted (the subject of my master's thesis) and he hadn't noticed that trend. He likes La Paz. I wish I were with him.

Virginia is a stunner at the moment. Fall colors are abundant and magnificent. We met some friends at Great Falls today and the drive alone was gorgeous. Jamie would have loved the cool weather, the colors, and watching his kids play actively in such a lovely setting. Miss Maeve was annoyed any time I picked her (see above photos) up or put her back in the stroller because little girl loves her mobility and freedom.

Miss you hubs!!!

Pumpkin Cutes

Maeve enjoyed patting, holding, tossing, and stepping on this little pumpkin. I enjoyed watching the festivity of her cuteness.

Twinners and Their Little Sisters

Sara and Maeve are both three years younger than their twin brothers.

Photographing my twins with Lisa's twins on the farm swing never gets old. It's impressive how much those boys change in between each photo shoot. Their hair is in various lengths, the level of silliness is unpredictable, and now we've added another kid sister/cousin to the mix. I just love a pile of cousins!

Never Enough

It is impossible to get enough of this baby babe. When I am at work her cute face is always on my mind. When I am home she is my constant little companion and I love having her on my hip as I go about my business. When she's in bed I miss her gleeful hoots and winsome pointing.

This curious gal is into everything. She loves to root around in the kitchen so countless times I have confiscated bottles of fish sauce from her hands. She has already unraveled rolls of toilet paper and let me just me very real and admit that I found her once with both arms in a toilet full of yes YELLOW water. Ugh. I nearly died and of course I turned into crazy mom scolding the boys for not flushing and not shutting the bathroom door.

Jang I talk daily about how happy Maeve is and how she rarely cries. If she is upset about something she is easily consoled with books. I wish I could say she was super snuggly but she's not so the times when I nurse her at night and she falls asleep in my arms--I hold her tenderly and revel in her perfect face and the sweetness that radiates from her little body.

Hard to believe little miss will be ONE in a few weeks.

Maeve and Lisa

Could they be any cuter???






Fall berries!


Maeve (cheeks full of berries) helps herself to the fall bounty.



I love it when Maeve gets that special kind of love and attention that only an grandmother or an aunt can give. Seeing Maeve and Lisa together makes me so happy especially because they look so much alike! Maeve could easily be Lisa's baby babe. She certainly fits in on the farm and loves those strawberries!

Three Pumpkin Heads

2010





2009

It has become tradition to take photos of the boys and now Maeve playing with pumpkins. I remember watching Soren toss pumpkins when he was just one and Maeve is doing the same thing. I am nearly swept away with nostalgia when I see Asher and Soren looking so tiny in years past. They are so grown up and now they can boast having the cutest kid sister ever.

This magical time of year conjures up a love for traditions, holidays, and now a love for my children that is so acute at times it makes me ache. I ache to hold my baby twins and I ache to hold my newborn Maeve. My emotions feel as fragile as red leaves, once green, who threaten to drop off their trees at any moment. These reflections make me more aware of my family and what's important. Yes, I strangely mourn the infancy and babyhood of my children but I am hugely grateful for my healthy, wonderful, and yes, growing children.

Jamie left today for Bolivia so I am all the kids have for the next little while. I experience the tenderest of mercies during these times because I can practically feel the Lord succor me with heightened patience and creativity--for the sake of those three sweet kids.